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Vlad the impaler is turning in his bloody grave.
And not the normal turning around just to get a bit more leverage to break the fuck out and terrorize the countryside kind of turning. It's more like the flipping around until the skin and flesh is completely worn off his fuckin elbows and knees, turning.
Twilight. What the fuck is this unholy shit?
Sure it starts off normal enough.
Girl meets boys. Boy wants to eat girl (well, hell even i could relate to that part). Girl wants boy to eat her. Boy refuses to eat girl (still pretty standard stuff). Boy turns into Chinese Raver (it's the body glitter, and this is also where common sense is thrown out the window, beaten with a metal baseball bat, then shat upon). Boy turns out to be a douchebag Vampire, with equally douchebaggy family. Boy decides to kill self instead of living without girl. Girl decides to nearly kill self in hopes of seeing boy.
And all the way, nobody dies, nobody gets eaten, and nobody actually gives a flying fornication about acting. And apparently American Indians beat their wives, and have no jobs or clothes.
Oh, and everybody comes from a land of perfect bodies, faces and impeccable skin. Fuck you, Hollywood. No really. Fuck. You.
What happened to the blood? And where the fuck is the god damned neck biting? Why is everybody so damned pretty? Why don't the werewolves tear the shit out of every god damned thing? Why isn't that dumb bitch Belle afraid or even mildly surprised at the existence of supernatural creatures? AND WHY THE FUCK IS THERE BODY GLITTER?!
The movies make little to no sense, and is by far one of the shittiest things to have ever pass before my vision. And I've seen one whole season of Sex In The City.
It is honestly a testament to our human condition when we are willing to be entertained by crap like this. Have we all forgotten how to kick some ass? The monsters created for these films were created to instill fear and abject hatred in our heart. Their roots buried deep in mythology and history, as creatures who would haunt us and kill us when we least expect it. The new generation of kids however will see them as handsome, dashing, constipated-looking, body glitter-wearing, pretty boys, who would sooner take us to a movie and to a club instead of ripping us to shreds.
There's only one way to resolve this piece of shit culture that is rearing its ugly head. Dear ole, throat-ripping, people-impaling Vladimir. May he burst forth from his grave and kill every single person who is lulled to a safe place by Edward. And may he reign terror upon you and your loved ones, so that the future generations may be saved.
Oh, and Stephenie Meyer. Fuck you.
A church is burnt.
A religion is mocked.
An ego is hurt.
A stone is thrown.
And so the vicious cycle begins anew.
It's funny really.
One moment we're all holding hands celebrating the new year. The next we're pointing fingers (probably still attached to those same hands), and flinging shit.
Ah humans, when will you decide to evolve.
See, it's not so much the violence I can't tolerate. Hell, I'd even fucking encourage it.
It's the damned emptiness of said violence that I abhor.
Just hear me out here.
What are the reason for these so called attacks?
Religion?
"How dare you use the name of Allah. How dare you try to steal our god?!"
Well, come now. I didn't know one could actually steal names. Does this mean I get to burn every mother fucker named Alexis in this world.
" Hi there stranger. My name is Alexis, what's yours?"
"My name is fuck you name stealer. Come along now to this little petrol kiosk nearby..."
Politics?
Yeah, we've heard this one before. Someone else takes over the government of a place, and the opposition decides to cause a little "civil unrest" within the boundaries of the ruling party.
"Okay, its like this, we burn a few churches, and blame the Muslims, then we can come in to save the day!!!"
"Uh, wait. Aren't we muslims as well? And uh, aren't those churches also indirectly proclaiming our god as their god as well?"
"Shit man. You are so stupid. We are Malay la, not Muslim...."
No education?
"We are mat-motors, so let's do something truly grand and burn a fuckin church down!!!"
"Eh, how about we drink the kerosene instead and get high?"
"ye, tak ye jugak kan. Okay jom!"
This country has some serious issues. And frankly I shouldn't give a good god damn about it. Or rather i shouldn't give a good Allah damn about it. (Yeah, fuck you church burners. Come get me.)
But i find myself surrounded by friends and family who do give a damn about it, and i am then compelled to give a shit. Not to mention the fact that for all this time I've been considered the fuckin Anti-Christ and now suddenly I'm suppose to be the champion of god ( i ain't kidding you, already 3 people have asked me, "Eh so, if something goes wrong you are gonna fight on our side right???) Your assumptions make an ass out of you and me. And Assumption Church as well apparently.
You know what? Fuck you. Yeah you who asked me to help your religion out. Yeah you who burned a fucking church. And who could forget you, you fucking politician. And you too blog reader, who's been agitated all day to do something about the whole situation, so much so that you decide to go online and find people who have similar opponions to your own. Fuck you.
That's right. If you felt so strongly about the subject, why the hell are you reading this shit? Why don't you go out there and do something? I've already done my part. I'm fanning the flames with this post, AND i managed to punch a Malay just now. That's at least 50 points for me.
You wanna top me? Go burn a mosque.
Then come back here in a day and read this same fuckin article from the top, cause it's about you.
