Antisocial Networking

Well the office has finally gone and banned Facebook. And MSN apparently. Although that son of a bitch Twitter is still allowed. (If they even touch Torrents, I'm resigning.) And it seems like they may be on an all out war on social networking.

And i say good fuckin riddance.

Okay, so they still allow the use of these apps after 6pm, which I guess is needed to keep a whole bunch of people from resigning. But I am glad they've decided to do something about the menace of social networking. Allow me to elaborate.

Fuck social networking. Fuck it in the ear.

Where the hell do you get off poking me? I dare you to try that in real life. Go ahead. See now your fingers are broken. How the hell are you going to update your status now bitch? Oh yeah, status updates. What the hell is this shit? Why do i need to know what John Q Nobody is doing every moment of his god damned life.

Hey if your life was so fuckin interesting, write a god damned autobiography. And then go kill yourself. It's the only way it'll ever sell.

Look, what I'm saying is, it's not so much the online apps that i abhor. The mere fact that I'm saying this in bloody cyberspace proves that the concept of it works. What i hate is how people use this crap as a shield to stop communicating with one another.

If you wanted to tell me how your day was, pick up the god damned phone and tell me. Or fuck that, let's get a whiskey instead. Don't send me a fuckin email when you're sitting in the cubicle next to me. Don't text me when your lazy ass works in the same office as me. And don't bloody expect me to know you were having a bad day by reading your fuckin twit. Twat.

I don't want to see your smiley face. I want to see your smile. I don't wanna see you lol. I want to hear you laugh. And if you're rolling on the floor while doing so, all the better. And if your ass falls off, great. I don't want to add you to my collection of friends / potential victims. I want to make friends with you. And if you like what i say or do, tell me, don't click a fuckin button.

And god help you if you send me shit online.
Fuck you. You cheap bastard.

When's the last time you actually said "What the fuck?!" out loud anyway?
Me? I did that about half an hour ago.
When i discovered they banned Facebook.