Inhuman Weakness

Fat. Lazy. Flatulent.

Words not only used to describe yo momma, but also the recent human condition.
It is alarming how humans these days seem to be growing weaker and weaker my the year. With all the wonders of modern technology and medicine, the human physique has become less and less important. Supplements take the place of good old fashioned exercise, and video games take the place of a good old fashioned ass-kicking.

Kids these days don't even know how to brawl. And my god are they tiny. Walking past a high-school these days is like taking a visit to fucking Hobbiton. These little bastards are really small for their age. This is proof that even evolution has decided to give up on us as a species, and is just taking a back seat by saying, "Fuck off you little twats, may you eventually grow smaller and smaller till you fade off this planet!"

And we deserve it.

Just take a look at our leaders. Our chiefs so to speak. Just look at these flabby out of shape sons of bitches. I can't remember a single leader from any country in my lifetime that isn't over aged, over weight, and over compensating for his tiny penis. (*cough* GeorgeBush *cough*) It's pathetic really. The kings and leaders of old, were chosen for their physical superiority and battle prowess. Okay, so there were exceptions to that rule, fucking Roman fairies...

But come now, wouldn't you like to have a leader in this day an age who would be at the front line of a battle with personal bodyguards in place only to protect his enormous bronze balls. And if he fell, he would go out in a blaze of awesomeness, asking the next better person to take his place, instead of some faggot-y son of his *cough* KimJongIll *cough*....

Oh wait, Conan The Barbarian became a governor or something right? There is hope for California then.

It's no wonder that we live in a generation of weaklings. Because why even bother being strong. All you need to do is to escape into the gaming world and customize your body there, and poof! Eugene is suddenly EuginatorX The Conqueror of World and Lover of Wenches. But in the real world he is still Eugene Owner of Antlike Balls, and his tiny ass will still get kicked at Hobbiton tomorrow.

Sure we compensate for our inferior physique in the animal kingdom by exercising our overly developed brains, but look at what that has brought us. War. Famine. Disease. Cowardice. Antisocial Behavior. And Eugene's really small testicles. And we try as hard as possible to eliminate our own species in the process.

Again Evolution sticking his middle finger at us while laughing maniacally. Bastard.

Wall-E might have been entertaining for you, but it gave me nightmares for weeks, realizing that that future is one that is very very real indeed. Which, also leads me to believe that Pixar is actually headed by Satan himself.

But I'll save that for another post.

It says a lot for how weak we've become when a rouge strain of flu can cause an international emergency. When we fear for our very existence at the mere mention of the word recession. And when a simple piece of paper with the picture of a dead leader (sans bronze balls) printed on it becomes the symbol of ultimate power and supremacy.

How brave are we, when wars and battles are fought from miles away at the push of a button and pull of a trigger. As we speak humans are devolping new and exciting ways of staying as far away as possible from other humans in fear of dying, or getting a boo-boo.

I say fuck em all. Let's get to brawling. Let's remember what it's like to be punched in the face, and kicked in the gut. To chew on metal and to spit blood. To get hit, get back up and hit back. Let's remember what it's like to have some god damned nuts!

Damn it!

Okay, no more coffee and cigarettes for me.