Fuck You Twi-hards.

Vlad the impaler is turning in his bloody grave.
And not the normal turning around just to get a bit more leverage to break the fuck out and terrorize the countryside kind of turning. It's more like the flipping around until the skin and flesh is completely worn off his fuckin elbows and knees, turning.

Twilight. What the fuck is this unholy shit?
Sure it starts off normal enough.
Girl meets boys. Boy wants to eat girl (well, hell even i could relate to that part). Girl wants boy to eat her. Boy refuses to eat girl (still pretty standard stuff). Boy turns into Chinese Raver (it's the body glitter, and this is also where common sense is thrown out the window, beaten with a metal baseball bat, then shat upon). Boy turns out to be a douchebag Vampire, with equally douchebaggy family. Boy decides to kill self instead of living without girl. Girl decides to nearly kill self in hopes of seeing boy.

And all the way, nobody dies, nobody gets eaten, and nobody actually gives a flying fornication about acting. And apparently American Indians beat their wives, and have no jobs or clothes.
Oh, and everybody comes from a land of perfect bodies, faces and impeccable skin. Fuck you, Hollywood. No really. Fuck. You.

What happened to the blood? And where the fuck is the god damned neck biting? Why is everybody so damned pretty? Why don't the werewolves tear the shit out of every god damned thing? Why isn't that dumb bitch Belle afraid or even mildly surprised at the existence of supernatural creatures? AND WHY THE FUCK IS THERE BODY GLITTER?!

The movies make little to no sense, and is by far one of the shittiest things to have ever pass before my vision. And I've seen one whole season of Sex In The City.

It is honestly a testament to our human condition when we are willing to be entertained by crap like this. Have we all forgotten how to kick some ass? The monsters created for these films were created to instill fear and abject hatred in our heart. Their roots buried deep in mythology and history, as creatures who would haunt us and kill us when we least expect it. The new generation of kids however will see them as handsome, dashing, constipated-looking, body glitter-wearing, pretty boys, who would sooner take us to a movie and to a club instead of ripping us to shreds.

There's only one way to resolve this piece of shit culture that is rearing its ugly head. Dear ole, throat-ripping, people-impaling Vladimir. May he burst forth from his grave and kill every single person who is lulled to a safe place by Edward. And may he reign terror upon you and your loved ones, so that the future generations may be saved.

Oh, and Stephenie Meyer. Fuck you.